Song played on Gossip Girl that gets stuck in my head a lot- hope it gets stuck in yours too!
Okay, I don't really have a secret. But I've felt like I've had one for the past few months. And that's because in a way I had to keep my plans about moving to Chile a secret for awhile. Thankfully I was able to talk about it openly with my family and some close friends, but I couldn't say much in Wyoming until it was certain because I couldn't have it getting around the parish that I was leaving when I really wasn't. And gossip seems to get around so easily here! Por ejemplo (for example) after Andrés left I was chatting with a priest in Guatemala on Facebook. This priest usually comes to our parish once a year to put on retreats in the Hispanic community and I guess someone had talking to him about Andrés and me because he thought we were married! The gossip reaches to other countries.
I told the office staff at the beginning of March that I was going to be leaving in August and I figured that I would announce it to the rest of the parish around Easter. However, more and more people are learning about it because I want to tell the world and they've outrightly asked me and I don't want to lie, so I've now started to announce it to my classes. I told an adult class last night and tonight and I have two more to go. I figure I'll wait to share it with all the kiddos until after Easter. I have to say, it's a relief to get it out there and not have to keep this "secret" that's not really a secret- I mean seriously, most were expecting it and even more so after Andrés visited.
The question you may be asking yourselves is why didn't I tell everybody right away in the beginning of March. And to that I would say good question. One reason is because I don't quite know how these things are done. Honestly, when someone moved or quit their job in one of my parishes growing up they told us about a week before it happened. Now I don't want my departure to be that abrupt but at the same time I don't want to draw out goodbyes and wrapping things up for five months. A second reason is because I just figured the Easter season was good timing. It's already joyous and this would be good news (not oh my, we need to find a new catechist bad news) to add to it. And my last reason kind of related to my second is because I don't like the bad reactions- I just want everybody to be happy!
Through this all I think I've really come to understand the meaning of the word bittersweet. The sweetness is that I get to join the love of my life and start a new chapter and adventure of my life. The bitterness is going to be leaving a wonderful parish and friends and my family. I thought that most of the parishioners would be happy for me but I've had a couple of rough reactions. A couple cried... and that was really hard to take but definitely understandable. Another reaction hard to deal with came from an older lady here who is like a grandma to me. She prays for me and Andrés EVERYDAY (how amazing is she?) and has supported me so much ever since I moved here. I figured she'd be so happy when I told her and that she'd be expecting the announcement but it was very much a surprise to her and it hit her hard that I'd be leaving and going so hard away. Bitter.
But I can't hide the news and I don't want to. I'm excited! I'm in love! I'm happy! And seriously, as people get used to it they warm to the idea and are happy for me too. I'll miss them and they'll miss me but asi es la vida?
*Note: Please don't think I'm super prideful in that I think ALL these people are going to miss me and won't know to do without me. My head isn't that big. I'm just recognizing that (for the parishioners anyway) I'm involved in an important part of these people's lives (their spiritual growth, major milestones such as receiving the Sacraments,seeing them weekly in class, etc.) and it's hard to say goodbye.
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