Amanda's Birth Story- Part II

To pick up from where we left off, read Part I here. Reminder: What I write may be too much information for some people (it is about a baby coming out of my body after all) so consider yourself forewarned. I include some details that I wouldn't normally tell some people in person in case a mother-to-be is reading and wants to know what to expect.

We left the doctor's office with just an hour to spare before I was due to check-in at the hospital. Since that wasn't enough time to run home first, we got in the car and scooted off to Lider (Chilean Walmart) for shampoo and slippers for me and snacks for mom and Andrés (husband). Then off to the hospital we went. It took about a half hour to get checked-in even though I was pre-registered so we spent the time taking my final baby bump pics. Eventually an orderly came down with a wheelchair and took us up to my fourth floor room.

38 Weeks, 4 Days

In front of the number 1 for our first child

  

Apparently we were already behind schedule because they rushed me to change into my lovely, backless hospital gown and then they started prepping me for surgery. They took my blood pressure (which was at a normal number again and makes me wonder if my OB took it right in his office), shaved me, and got my IV stand ready. Then my midwife showed up and inserted the IV into the side of my lower thumb. And let me tell you, it hurts there. It's pretty much required to have a midwife here and you don't really choose one yourself- you go with the woman your doctor has chosen to work with. I was pretty disappointed with my midwife experience because she really didn't do anything and was very matter-of-fact and not so much bedside-mannerish. I think she would have done a lot more if it was a natural birth instead of c-section but even afterwards she seemed rushed instead of willing to help me with things like how to take care of my incision and breastfeeding.

Continuing on... I was then wheeled down in my bed to the second floor where the surgery would take place. I had been told Andrés would be with my the whole time but I guess they meant only for the actual surgery part because as soon as we got down there they made him wait outside while they took me into the room to start the anesthesia. The anesthetist was a nice man who tried to reassure me right away by telling me he spoke English when he found out  I was a gringa. Usually when Chileans tell me this it means they speak a broken English that is usually more of a hindrance than help in important situations like this (although I definitely applaud them in their effort and level of English because it's hard learning another language)- and that was the case with him. He told me a few times, "It's alright, you're a big woman," thinking he was saying "you're a big girl" instead of insulting my large pregnant body. I guess I wasn't the best patient though because as he was inserting the needles in my back I kept arching away (I couldn't help it, it was an automatic reaction like when someone tickles you- except more painful) instead of pushing my spine towards him. But really, who pushes their spine towards needles? I think he first numbed up some areas with Novocaine and then put in one big needle of the anesthesia. I'm not sure on that though because nobody was explaining much to me. I really wish Andrés would have been let in for that part because of the language barrier.

Well, the drugs started to take effect and I could feel the lower half of me becoming numb and heavy. I kept testing it out, seeing if I could feel myself wiggle my toes. I think I could feel them move. This is where things start to get a bit hazy because the drugs made me tired and my mind foggy. My OB came in the room and he was moving around doing things along with the midwife, anesthetist, and about four nurses. They laid my arms out straight (like Christ on the crucifix, put up the curtain over my chest so I wouldn't be able to see my insides when opened up, and I was disrobed from there down. I noticed my midwife snap a few photos on her phone (I hope it was before I was disrobed)  and remember thinking it was weird. I then felt someone petting my head and saying it was okay. It took me about 20 seconds to realize it was Andrés and that he was in the room with me. That's how out of it I was.

Then the surgery began. From what I know they cut me open using a cauterizer (so you don't bleed as much) and Andrés said he could smell my burning flesh. Nice. Then they put a closed clamp type thing in the incision that has a string attached to it. They yanked on the string and it opened the mouth of the clamp, widening the incision area. Then they tie down the string so that it remained open. I felt no pain but I definitely felt tugging and pulling. I don't know if it was the tugging of them opening me or of them pulling the baby out. And yank her out they did! All of the sudden I heard a little cry and they told us that we had a baby girl. Amanda Rosario was born at 2:22pm on Monday, May 6th, 2013! They cut her cord and brought her around and held her head next to mine so we could see her. I didn't feel sudden euphoria or great feelings of pride and joy (I really think it was because of the drugs), but I remember just thinking "She's here." And that I felt really tired.

Amanda was taken out to be checked on by the pediatrician and cleaned and dressed. Andrés went with her and I was once again alone. They stitched me up quickly and then I was wheeled into the recovery room next door. I think I was kept there for an hour and a nurse checked my blood pressure every 15 minutes. Again, I was really tired and I didn't mind being separated from Amanda- I wanted to rest. Not normal mothering feelings. Finally I was wheeled back up to my fourth floor room. My mom, Andrés, and his parents were there waiting. They told me how cute Amanda was and how she kept turning her head when the nurse tried to point her face towards them and how she fit her whole fist in her mouth (remarkable since she has shown no interest in doing this again since that time). After a few minutes the nurses wheeled Amanda into the room and left her with us and I held my daughter for the first time. Although still under the effects of the anesthesia, I was able to marvel at her small size and beauty and to breastfeed her. Amanda weighed 2740 grams/5.9 pounds and measured 47 centimeters/18.5 inches.

Super Dad- the man who got us through it all

Getting acquainted

Most people said she looks exactly like me and my mom but I believe her nose and jawline come from Andrés. She has a full head of black hair for now and steel grey eyes that I believe will eventually change to brown. We stayed for three nights in the hospital, of which Andrés was able to stay with us the first night, and then we went home on Thursday at noon. We had many, many visitors including Andrés' whole family and a large number of my gringa friends. Although a little awkward to have to feed her in front of some of them as I was just getting used to it, it was so nice to have their support and visits.

With Grandma Jo. Everything is so big on me!

Hanging out with the abuelita

As you were reading this, some of it might have seemed kind of negative because in a way it was for me. I want to be honest about my experience. It was not the birth I wanted by far and as a matter of fact I don't really feel like I gave birth because I didn't do anything- the doctor did it all in surgery. It's still hard for me to process that Amanda is here in my arms yet I have no idea what labor and pushing a baby out feel like. I'm pretty okay with it but I worry that one day I'm going start mourning the loss of that experience as I hear some mothers do. BUT with all that being said I definitely view my c-section as a SUCCESS and a JOY too because Amanda is here, healthy and safe. I'm very happy with my new life as a family of three. Contento, Señor, contento.

Amanda's Birth Story- Part I

Amanda is already 6 weeks old, so before time gets even further away I need to write down her birth story or else I'll forget even more details. What I write may be too much information for some people (it is about a baby coming out of my body after all) so consider yourself forewarned. Also this is my version of the story- if you ask Andrés or my mom they might remember things a little differently or from another perspective. Because things were so fast and I was under the influence of anesthesia some things are a little fuzzy to me and I don't feel like I was able to process everything that was going on.

Here we go!

6 Months

Up until week 29 we had a very healthy pregnancy. Amanda had been growing well, my amniotic fluid was plenty, the placenta was well attached, everything was good. But when we went in for our third (and I had hoped final) ultrasound my OB noticed that Amanda's abdomen was measuring small. It was in a very low percentile compared to her heart, head, and legs which were measuring larger and at a medium percentile. We were told not to worry and to come back in three weeks to have it looked at again. We tried not to worry and when we went back her abdomen was still small. Went back a week later and STILL small. We were given one more week to see if it would grow. I asked my closest family and friends to pray because I couldn't form the words. At the 34 week ultrasound the OB said her abdomen had grown and everything was fine! 

Photo Credit: Erica Work Gonzalez

We didn't have to go back to see the OB for another three weeks which seemed like a long time after we had been going so regularly. At 37 weeks he did another quick ultrasound and said her abdomen was still looking good. Then he said he'd see us in another week and if anything was wrong he'd do a c-section that day because he was going to a conference the latter half of that week. I was like, "Wait, what? You just said everything was good but are now talking about (what seems like a good likelihood of) a c-section next week!" This is why it's hard for me to wholly trust Chilean doctors because I've heard so many stories (especially birth stories) where they say one thing and mean another. Such as "you're completely healthy and the baby's great so there's no reason you couldn't have a natural delivery" and yet they're planning for a c-section in their schedule. But Andrés assured me after we left his office that the doc wasn't planning anything but rather just covering the bases in case something came up. Therefore I was still in my own little world preparing myself for a natural birth.

Photo Credit: Erica Work Gonzalez

On Friday, May 2nd my mom arrived in Chile! With an original due date of May 17 we thought we would have about two weeks to sit in cafes and do touristy things and then two weeks to relax and enjoy the baby once she made her debut. We were just a little off in our calculations. On the morning of May 6th, on grandma's fourth day here, on day four of week 38, we went back to the doctor. We put my hospital bag in the trunk with Andrés thinking there was a 50% possibility of us having to use it that day, me thinking there was a 2% chance, and my mom somewhere inbetween. The first thing my OB did was introduce us to his colleague, another doctor who was going to do a "second opinion" ultrasound (the sixth one we had had now). I was surprised because he had said at the last two appointments that everything was good. They didn't say anything to us during the ultrasound but I could see them repeatedly measuring her head, abdomen, and leg. We then followed the doctor into his office and he checked my blood pressure. He got a worried look but again didn't say anything was wrong but made me wait a couple minutes and then he took my bp again.

He then came and sat down at the desk with Andrés, my mother, and me and explained that both he and the other OB agree that Amanda's abdomen was measuring small again- about five weeks behind the other organs in her body. He said this could mean that the placenta wasn't delivering enough nutrients so they were all going to the important organs (brain, heart, etc.) and skipping over the less important (liver). Also my blood pressure had gone up. While it wasn't high on the charts, I usually have a lower bp so it was a concern. There was also something about the blood flow to Amanda's brain but that still has yet to be fully explained to me. With all this put together the doctor highly recommended we "take her out" that day because she wouldn't grow anymore and to keep her in would just be "risk, risk, risk." When you put it that way how could we do anything but decide...

...Amanda was coming that day!

Photo Credit: Erica Work Gonzalez

Read Part II here.

Introducing My Family!

After a 16 month hiatus, I have decided to return to the blogging world! And boy has a lot happened in the past 16 months. In my last post I shared that Andrés and I got engaged. 

Since then this happened...

And very shortly after this happened...

And then this little one came along!

I know! We were a little surprised too! And so, so happy. Contenta con la vida!

We are now a family of three.


Here's a short recap of what took place over the last 16 months:
I moved back home to MN at the beginning of March 2012 to be with my family, start wedding planning, and to work and save up money for said wedding. The Lord was so kind to provide a job almost right away. I was hired to wash motorhomes. Yes, you read right. It was a good job and I got some exercise and am very thankful for the two months I did that, but washing RVs is just not for me. In May I was able to find other work for the United States Postal Service! I worked as a mail processor in the St. Cloud plant and I really enjoyed my work and co-workers. I got a workout every night (helped me get in shape for the wedding) and my co-workers were so supportive and happy for me when I got married and pregnant. The only downside is that it was the night shift- ugh.

I got to spend as much family quality time as I could when I wasn't sleeping, and everybody chipped in to help the wedding come together. Andrés came up the week before the wedding and then on August 4, 2012 we became man and wife! It was an awesome wedding and reception but the details must be saved for a later post. At the end of August Andrés returned to Chile and I planned to follow him after a few more months of work. On Septembter 13th I found out I was pregnant and Andrés got to learn about it through Skype! Oh the joys. Through the help and support of my parents I was able to move down here at the end of October and join my husband. I found part-time work right away and for months 5-7 of my pregnancy I was blessed with full-time work and again, awesome co-workers. Then on May 2nd my mom arrived and just four short days later Amanda Rosario was born! What a whirlwind. Andrés is now studying and working and I am a stay at home mom for the next few months. It's a blessed life. It's a sleepless life.

Now since I'm a wife, mother, and indefinite expat I'm sure most of my posts will be focused on these new aspects of my life. I hope you enjoy reading about these adventures and I'm so happy to share them with my friends and family- it makes me feel closer to you all across this distance. Also, don't expect posts too frequently (I make no promises to keep up the blog) because I'm still getting the hang of mothering and Amanda is still learning about life on the outside of the womb- which means she's almost permanently in my arms! With that said, I hope to see you here again somewhat soon. God bless!

La Vida es un Carnaval

When I went to Chile the first time to learn Spanish they told us to prepare beforehand by listening to music in Spanish. Now at that time I had of course heard the names of different types: salsa, merengue, bachata, reggaeton, mariachi, cumbia etc. But I could not tell you the difference in them (with the exception of reggaeton and mariachi), and I still probably can't, ha! I also didn't really know any artists. I knew that Hillsong United had some of their praise and worship songs in Spanish and I downloaded a few of those. Then I messaged my friend Gabe from college who is actually Brazilian but he also speaks Spanish and is latino. He gave me a list of different artists to listen to and one of them was Celia Cruz. I'm pretty sure she is a huge star (so don't hold this against me) but the first times I listened to her no me gustó (I didn't like her). However, after hearing this song by her over and over again on my ipod and in Zumba and having it also pop up in various places I go, I've become somewhat addicted to it.

The song is called La Vida es un Carnaval- Life is a Carnival. It has a positive message for us living in this troubled world. And it seems to be a very troubled world these days with what's going on in the Middle East, the politics of our own nation, poverty, hunger, abortion, the protests in Chile over Hidroaysen and education... the list could go on and on. Also on a personal level, tragedies (death) seem to keep striking and have been for the past year or so. The most recent is that a parishioner that I saw very often passed away and he will be greatly missed. So I hope that this song and the lyrics will help all of us to remember that even when life deals you a tough hand, even though there are injustices, there are also many things to celebrate and to keep a good attitude (and to keep on singing) can help you through. For the English speakers I will provide lyrics underneath the video but remember I'm not an expert in Spanish- yet!

Todo aquel que piense                                           Everyone who thinks

que la vida es desigual,                                          that life is unequal,

tiene que saver que no es asi,                               has to know that it's not like that,

que la vida es una hermosura,                               that life is beautiful,

hay que vivirla.                                                          you have to live it.

Todo aquel que piense                                           Everyone who thinks

que esta solo                                                           that they're alone

y que esta mal,                                                         and that is bad,

tiene que saber que no es asi,                               has to know that it's not like that,

que en la vida no hay nadie solo,                           that in life no one is alone,

siempre hay alguien.                                                there's always someone.

Ay, no ha que llorar, que la vida es un carnaval,   Oh, don't cry, life is a carnival,

es mas bello vivir cantando.                                  it's more beautiful to live singing.

Oh, oh, oh, ay, no hay que llorar,                           Oh, don't cry,

que la vida es un carnaval                                     life is a carnival

y las penas se van cantando.                                and the pain will go singing

Todo aquel que piense que                             Everyone who thinks

la vida siempre es cruel,                                  life is always cruel,

tiene que saber que no es as                         has to know that it's not like that,

que tan solo hay momentos malos,               it's just that there are bad moments,

y todo pasa.                                                      and everything passes.

Todo aquel que piense                                    Everyone who thinks

que esto nunca va a cambiar,                          that this is never going to change,

tiene que saber que no es asi,                         has to know that it's not like that,

que al mal tiempo buena cara,                         give a brave face to the bad time,

y todo pasa.                                                        and everything passes.

Para aquellos que se quejan tanto.                  For those who complain so much.

Para aquellos que solo critican.                        For those who only criticize.

Para aquellos que usan las armas.                   For those who use weapons.

Para aquellos que nos cantaminan.                  For those who contaminate us.

Para aquellos que hacen la guerra.                  For those who make war.

Para aquellos que viven pecando.                    For those who live sinning.

Para aquellos que nos maltratan.                      For those who mistreat us.

Para aquellos que nos contagian.                     For those who make us sick.

Fuente/Source: musica.com

What's in a Name

One of the hardest things about starting this blog was coming up with a name. I wanted the perfect name for me... and I think I found it. However, my boyfriend disagrees somewhat. I guess "Contenta con la Vida" doesn't quite resonate with him. In the end though, it's my blog and it highly resonates with me, so I went for it.

The title of this blog comes from a quote by the Chilean Saint, San Alberto Hurtado. During my first stay in Chile I came to learn a great deal about Padre Hurtado and he fastly became one of my favorite Saints. He was a Jesuit priest in the first half of the 20th century and he was  a social worker who had a great love for the poor. He's the one who founded Hogar de Cristo which has now even spread to the United States. Padre Hurtado lived a rather short life. He died at the age of 51 from cancer and if I remember the story correctly, when he was diagnosed he said the words "Contento, Señor, contento." Basically it means "I am content or happy Lord." But to me, and I think to many Chileans, it goes so much deeper. He was just given a diagnosis of death and yet he says he is okay, happy, content... because he has lived a life for God and he trusts in God's plan for him.

From the first time I heard this quote, it hit me hard. I thought it was a great attitude to have and a great way to live your life. When I was learning Spanish by immersion, I had major struggles- with the language and not being able to communicate at higher than the level of a toddler, with adjusting to some cultural differences and even some differences in the Church. It was worth it, but it wasn't easy. And one of the greatest compliments I ever received from Andrés was when we were still friends and getting to know each other and he said that I reminded him of that quote by Padre Hurtado! It made me feel good to know that even though I was going through difficulties, people on the outside could still see I was giving it my all and trying to be joyful.

"Contento, Señor, contento." This is how I want to live. Whatever comes my way, I want to be contenta. Contenta con Dios y con la vida. Hence, the name for my blog. I want to always be joyful in the gift of life God has given me, whether I'm going through happy times or if I'm really struggling. Right now I'm very contenta because soon I'm going to be joining Andrés and we'll no longer be separated for months on end. But I also know that it's highly likely that in a year we're going to have to part for awhile again. I also know that I will go through more suffering in life. And my hope is that my blog title will remind me to always try to be contenta. To keep trusting in God's plan for me and that He will work for my good.