Amanda's Birth Story- Part II

To pick up from where we left off, read Part I here. Reminder: What I write may be too much information for some people (it is about a baby coming out of my body after all) so consider yourself forewarned. I include some details that I wouldn't normally tell some people in person in case a mother-to-be is reading and wants to know what to expect.

We left the doctor's office with just an hour to spare before I was due to check-in at the hospital. Since that wasn't enough time to run home first, we got in the car and scooted off to Lider (Chilean Walmart) for shampoo and slippers for me and snacks for mom and Andrés (husband). Then off to the hospital we went. It took about a half hour to get checked-in even though I was pre-registered so we spent the time taking my final baby bump pics. Eventually an orderly came down with a wheelchair and took us up to my fourth floor room.

38 Weeks, 4 Days

In front of the number 1 for our first child

  

Apparently we were already behind schedule because they rushed me to change into my lovely, backless hospital gown and then they started prepping me for surgery. They took my blood pressure (which was at a normal number again and makes me wonder if my OB took it right in his office), shaved me, and got my IV stand ready. Then my midwife showed up and inserted the IV into the side of my lower thumb. And let me tell you, it hurts there. It's pretty much required to have a midwife here and you don't really choose one yourself- you go with the woman your doctor has chosen to work with. I was pretty disappointed with my midwife experience because she really didn't do anything and was very matter-of-fact and not so much bedside-mannerish. I think she would have done a lot more if it was a natural birth instead of c-section but even afterwards she seemed rushed instead of willing to help me with things like how to take care of my incision and breastfeeding.

Continuing on... I was then wheeled down in my bed to the second floor where the surgery would take place. I had been told Andrés would be with my the whole time but I guess they meant only for the actual surgery part because as soon as we got down there they made him wait outside while they took me into the room to start the anesthesia. The anesthetist was a nice man who tried to reassure me right away by telling me he spoke English when he found out  I was a gringa. Usually when Chileans tell me this it means they speak a broken English that is usually more of a hindrance than help in important situations like this (although I definitely applaud them in their effort and level of English because it's hard learning another language)- and that was the case with him. He told me a few times, "It's alright, you're a big woman," thinking he was saying "you're a big girl" instead of insulting my large pregnant body. I guess I wasn't the best patient though because as he was inserting the needles in my back I kept arching away (I couldn't help it, it was an automatic reaction like when someone tickles you- except more painful) instead of pushing my spine towards him. But really, who pushes their spine towards needles? I think he first numbed up some areas with Novocaine and then put in one big needle of the anesthesia. I'm not sure on that though because nobody was explaining much to me. I really wish Andrés would have been let in for that part because of the language barrier.

Well, the drugs started to take effect and I could feel the lower half of me becoming numb and heavy. I kept testing it out, seeing if I could feel myself wiggle my toes. I think I could feel them move. This is where things start to get a bit hazy because the drugs made me tired and my mind foggy. My OB came in the room and he was moving around doing things along with the midwife, anesthetist, and about four nurses. They laid my arms out straight (like Christ on the crucifix, put up the curtain over my chest so I wouldn't be able to see my insides when opened up, and I was disrobed from there down. I noticed my midwife snap a few photos on her phone (I hope it was before I was disrobed)  and remember thinking it was weird. I then felt someone petting my head and saying it was okay. It took me about 20 seconds to realize it was Andrés and that he was in the room with me. That's how out of it I was.

Then the surgery began. From what I know they cut me open using a cauterizer (so you don't bleed as much) and Andrés said he could smell my burning flesh. Nice. Then they put a closed clamp type thing in the incision that has a string attached to it. They yanked on the string and it opened the mouth of the clamp, widening the incision area. Then they tie down the string so that it remained open. I felt no pain but I definitely felt tugging and pulling. I don't know if it was the tugging of them opening me or of them pulling the baby out. And yank her out they did! All of the sudden I heard a little cry and they told us that we had a baby girl. Amanda Rosario was born at 2:22pm on Monday, May 6th, 2013! They cut her cord and brought her around and held her head next to mine so we could see her. I didn't feel sudden euphoria or great feelings of pride and joy (I really think it was because of the drugs), but I remember just thinking "She's here." And that I felt really tired.

Amanda was taken out to be checked on by the pediatrician and cleaned and dressed. Andrés went with her and I was once again alone. They stitched me up quickly and then I was wheeled into the recovery room next door. I think I was kept there for an hour and a nurse checked my blood pressure every 15 minutes. Again, I was really tired and I didn't mind being separated from Amanda- I wanted to rest. Not normal mothering feelings. Finally I was wheeled back up to my fourth floor room. My mom, Andrés, and his parents were there waiting. They told me how cute Amanda was and how she kept turning her head when the nurse tried to point her face towards them and how she fit her whole fist in her mouth (remarkable since she has shown no interest in doing this again since that time). After a few minutes the nurses wheeled Amanda into the room and left her with us and I held my daughter for the first time. Although still under the effects of the anesthesia, I was able to marvel at her small size and beauty and to breastfeed her. Amanda weighed 2740 grams/5.9 pounds and measured 47 centimeters/18.5 inches.

Super Dad- the man who got us through it all

Getting acquainted

Most people said she looks exactly like me and my mom but I believe her nose and jawline come from Andrés. She has a full head of black hair for now and steel grey eyes that I believe will eventually change to brown. We stayed for three nights in the hospital, of which Andrés was able to stay with us the first night, and then we went home on Thursday at noon. We had many, many visitors including Andrés' whole family and a large number of my gringa friends. Although a little awkward to have to feed her in front of some of them as I was just getting used to it, it was so nice to have their support and visits.

With Grandma Jo. Everything is so big on me!

Hanging out with the abuelita

As you were reading this, some of it might have seemed kind of negative because in a way it was for me. I want to be honest about my experience. It was not the birth I wanted by far and as a matter of fact I don't really feel like I gave birth because I didn't do anything- the doctor did it all in surgery. It's still hard for me to process that Amanda is here in my arms yet I have no idea what labor and pushing a baby out feel like. I'm pretty okay with it but I worry that one day I'm going start mourning the loss of that experience as I hear some mothers do. BUT with all that being said I definitely view my c-section as a SUCCESS and a JOY too because Amanda is here, healthy and safe. I'm very happy with my new life as a family of three. Contento, Señor, contento.

They're Almost Here!!!

My parents are on their way! In fact, they should arrive at my apartment in four to five hours. I'm so excited to see them and hug them and also to see my niece, P! She's six-years-old and on her way out to Wyoming for the very first time. I have to say that I'm very thankful for all the sacrifices my family is making for me. They weren't able to leave the house in Minnesota until much later than expected yesterday and they didn't get to their hotel in South Dakota until 8am- that's right, 8AM!!! They basically drove straight through the night. And let me tell you, I did that a few months ago and I thought I was too old to be doing that at only 25 years-old! It seems like P is a trooper though and is doing well with them.

Everything seems to be coming together on my end. The man replacing me arrived at work this Monday and training has been going very well. I've gotten to know his wife and kids a little bit and I have to say it feels like a missed opportunity to get to know a really nice family- I wish they had arrived months sooner! On Sunday the parish had an ice cream social to say goodbye and I also had a BBQ with RCIA members of the past on Tuesday and I've been meeting up with friends whenever I get the chance. Saying goodbye is really hard! Especially since I don't know when I'll see a lot of these people again. I'm going to miss my parish community and Wyoming friends so much. Over the past week or two I've been packing up my apartment, and while it is tedious work it seems to be coming along. I really only have my kitchen and food items left to go through. I've been having to sort things into four piles: things to go in the garage sale, things to go to Chile, things to store in MN and things to bring to MN and give back to the family members they belong to. By the way, if any of you readers are in WY and know me, stop by my yard sale on Saturday!

I probably won't be posting anything for about a week or so because of all of the moving plans. Tomorrow my dad is going to work on car stuff, I'll be finishing things up at work (I can't believe it's my last day!), and I'm not sure what my mom and niece will do. Friday night we have dinner with a wonderful woman here who has been like a grandmother to me and we'll make preparations for the yard sale. Saturday morning/early afternoon will be the yard sale and then we'll go to 5:30pm Mass (my last Mass in the parish, sad) followed by a BBQ with the parish staff so I can say all of my goodbyes to them. Sunday morning we'll load up the truck and make our way to Jackson, WY. We get to spend a night in a nice-looking hotel and then all day Monday we're going to explore Yellowstone! None of us have ever been before. Monday night and Tuesday morning will be spent in Cody, WY and then we'll start driving and make it home to Minnesota (pray all goes well) by Wednesday night. Ufda! To all of you MN peeps, know that I'm looking forward to spending lots of quality time with you before leaving for Chile on the 19th. Only 21 days to Andres and Chile!!!

P.S. To anyone who has supported me in this transition through words, acts of kindness or gifts, I want you to know that I GREATLY APPRECIATE it. I don't think I could have made this big decision and followed through with it without you. I especially want to thank Andres, my family and my fellow parishioners. I love you all.