Questions and Pensamientos about Love

I have a lot of feelings and thoughts of love and about love. I find myself thinking about them often and I wonder if it's because I'm in a long distance relationship. If Andres was here would I be acting on them more than thinking about them? Anyways, I thought I would put a few of them out there although I feel I don't have the adequate words to describe them. So I apologize in advance if they don't make sense.

• I am in a long distance relationship. Mostly the long distance part sucks. But I do think there are a couple of benefits. First of all, Andres and I have really good communication. Actually now that I ponder it, often we have miscommunications or misunderstandings but we are more than willing to explain and clear them up because words are all that we have. We can't just walk away from each other and we won't give each other the silent treatment because then we would give up all that we have! Pretty much right from the beginning we have been separated and so our relationship is really based on friendship (and not just our good looks and mutual physical attraction) from getting to know each other and what we think about things from the hours we've spent talking over the phone and not being able to do other activities together. (When I say "activities" does it remind you of Brian Regan too? They're both good!) Secondly they say that absence makes the heart grow fonder- or that it breaks a couple apart. Thankfully the former is very true for us! And I can definitely see how this is. Distance lets you know if you really want to be with the person you're with.
• I have often heard people say to their loved one "I fall more in love with you every day." Yes, granted I have often heard this in the movies and so I ask you: what do you think about this? Is this possible? Does this happen to people in real life? I hope I don't get worst girlfriend award of the year but I don't think this is totally true for how I feel about Andres- I don't feel more in love with him or at least recognize that I'm more in love with him every day but this is often how I feel about him. And it amazes me! It causes wonder in me that I can recognize that my feelings for him are deeper and more permanent than the day before. Sometimes I feel that I can't possibly love him more but then the next day I realize that I do! So then I wonder, will I keep feeling this way? I hope I do. I hope I keep falling in love with him and growing deeper in love with him in the next five, ten, twenty and fifty years- as long as we're together! For those of you who have been married for some time now, what are your opinions on this?
• I love Andres more than life. I love my family more than life. I love many of my friends more than life. I love the Lord more than life. Over the past couple of months I have come to realize how deep my love runs for many people. And that I would willingly give up my life for them. And yet it is a paradox because I cannot give up my life for them by the very fact that I need to live my life. Let me try and explain this more clearly. If someone was in danger, I would willingly trade my life for theirs- I would step in front of that bus or bullet or whatever it might be. Yet the people I love are not in immediate mortal danger and since there is no urgent need to give up my life for them then that means that I have to live the life that God has given to me to live. So while I might trade my physical life to save that of my mother's or my niece's if they were in danger, I can't trade my life in Chile to be with them in Minnesota. My vocation is in Chile, I need to go start my life with Andres there. And sometimes that's really hard to accept because that means I'm giving up life with my family for life with him. But I love all of them! I hope you all know that. This also makes me realize how amazing and loving it was that Christ gave up His life for me on the cross.
• Now this next idea is not originally mine but I can't remember who to give credit to. I don't remember if I read this somewhere or heard it on the radio or in a homily, but someone was talking about how we are called to love God above all else and all others. Personally, it's easy to love Him above all things but I struggle to put Him above other people because I love them so much (but then is that true love?). This person proposed a great solution to this struggle I find myself falling into. He said that we are to love God above all else precisely through loving others. God commanded us to love others and we love Him through them. I mean He is their creator and if they belong to the mystical Body of Christ then they have God dwelling in them as they dwell in Him. I like this a lot because I don't want to feel guilty about loving others and I don't think God would want that either.
• And the last thing I've been pondering is that love is a choice. I firmly believe that. True love is a choice. Yes, maybe it starts out with us "falling in love" and that's great. But when tough times come we need to realize that we don't have to "fall out of love" with people but that even if the feelings are no longer there that we can still choose to love that person. And in fact (especially if we are bound to them in marriage) that is exactly what we need to do. I think that divorce rates would be greatly reduced if couples realized that marriage and their relationship does not and cannot rely on feelings alone. Yes, I feel that I'm deeply in love with Andres and I hope those feelings last forever. Yet I will choose to keep on loving him even if they don't. I'll end with these words from Pope Benedict XVI in his first encyclical Deus Caritas Est:

In the gradual unfolding of this encounter, it is clearly revealed that love is not merely a sentiment. Sentiments come and go. A sentiment can be a marvellous first spark, but it is not the fullness of love. Earlier we spoke of the process of purification and maturation by which eros comes fully into its own, becomes love in the full meaning of the word. It is characteristic of mature love that it calls into play all man's potentialities; it engages the whole man, so to speak... This encounter also engages our will and our intellect. Acknowledgment of the living God is one path towards love, and the “yes” of our will to his will unites our intellect, will and sentiments in the all- embracing act of love. But this process is always open-ended; love is never “finished” and complete; throughout life, it changes and matures, and thus remains faithful to itself. (#17)

And in Spanish! 

En el desarrollo de este encuentro se muestra también claramente que el amor no es solamente un sentimiento. Los sentimientos van y vienen. Pueden ser una maravillosa chispa inicial, pero no son la totalidad del amor. Al principio hemos hablado del proceso de purificación y maduración mediante el cual el eros llega a ser totalmente él mismo y se convierte en amor en el pleno sentido de la palabra. Es propio de la madurez del amor que abarque todas las potencialidades del hombre e incluya, por así decir, al hombre en su integridad... Pero dicho encuentro implica también nuestra voluntad y nuestro entendimiento. El reconocimiento del Dios viviente es una vía hacia el amor, y el sí de nuestra voluntad a la suya abarca entendimiento, voluntad y sentimiento en el acto único del amor. No obstante, éste es un proceso que siempre está en camino: el amor nunca se da por « concluido » y completado; se transforma en el curso de la vida, madura y, precisamente por ello, permanece fiel a sí mismo. (#17)